This too shall pass
When I’m going through something very rough, I try to think to myself, "This too shall pass."
I looked up the phrase today and discovered it has its own Wikipedia page and its origin dates back to at least the 12th century in Persian poetry:
Attar records the fable of a powerful king who asks assembled wise men to create a ring that will make him happy when he is sad. After deliberation the sages hand him a simple ring with the Persian words "This too shall pass" etched on it, which has the desired effect.
I love that.
While it never changes my current situation, I do take some solace in telling myself things like, "This time tomorrow, this will be over," or "Fifteen minutes from now I will have figured this out," or even, "This will soon be over and I can start forgetting it ever happened."
It has occurred to me that this serves nearly an identical purpose as the much more severe-sounding Latin motto, momento mori (roughly, "remember you will die"):
It’s funny how the idea works in both positive and negative directions to pull you back to the neutral state:
-
Remember, this won’t last forever - enjoy it now!
-
Remember, this won’t last forever - this suffering will eventually end.
I remember having the profound realization at a young age that though my summer vacation off of school felt blissfully, endlessly long, it would eventually end and I would, as certainly as anything, find myself one day in the future wearing my backpack waiting for the first class to start again. Likewise, when school started, I knew that no matter whether it went well or went poorly, it would end and I would be back on summer vacation when the school year was over. Look everybody, it’s "My First Momento Mori" for kids!
Another favorite of mine is the Alan Watts telling of the Chinese "parable of the farmer" which Maria Popova quotes on The Yin-Yang of Fortune and Misfortune: Alan Watts on the Art of Learning Not to Think in Terms of Gain and Loss (themarginalian.org):
Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.” The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.” The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.” The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbors came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”
The Persian ring, the Latin expression with the skull, the noncommital Chinese farmer, these are all different expressions of the same profound idea: You can bring yourself back to the neutral state if you can accept the impermanence of the current good or bad situation.
This "return to neutral" is something I didn’t understand for a long time.
I don’t link directly to YouTube videos anymore, but there’s a video I somehow stumbled upon and which I’ve subsequently re-watched a number of times. It’s by Dr. Alok Kanojia (aka "Dr. K") titled How to Break Free From Life’s Endless Cycles on his "HealthyGamerGG" channel.
Dr. Kanojia brilliantly explains the Buddhist teaching that a "greed" for pleasure and happiness (and avoidance of discomfort) is the actual source for suffering. The cure is to seek not happiness, but neutrality. This video may have been aimed specifically at young male gamers, but it’s a wonderfully lucid and conversational explanation of this (counter-intuitive) concept. Highly recommended.