Commit!
Page created: 2023-04-17Related: wisdom and showing-up.
Here’s an interesting angle for a lot of things, including our relationship with personal projects and goals.
George Pransky’s rather remarkable little book The Relationship Handbook has a lot of advice that applies to all of life and I think it’s pretty profound.
One of his examples takes place between a couple named "Tom" and "Sheila" and their therapist, "Therapist".
She wants commitment and he’s not ready for it.
Here’s the interesting part:
"Therapist: Without commitment, you can’t fully enjoy anything. Commitment frees you from the devices of your own mind. We are all the same. Our minds wander to indulge thoughts of possibilities, alternatives, concerns and doubts. Without commitment, we are likely to take these thoughts to heart and spoil our experience of the moment. Commitment keeps our eye on the ball so we can dismiss such distractions and return to the enjoyment of the moment."
(Emphasis mine.)
When I read that, I immediately started to think of how this has been true for me with some of my programming projects.
If I start to wonder if I’m building the project correctly or, worse, using the right programming language, I can end up doubting what I’m doing to such a degree that I end up with a browser with 30 open tabs and absolutely no progress to be made on my actual project…for days on end.
But just down the page, Pransky makes it even more explicitly general through his character Tom:
"Tom: I often start projects full bore and then lose interest. Doubts and alternatives creep into my head. Soon I am thinking more about those alternatives and less about my project. It never occurred to me that some people make a practice of dismissing those thoughts."
And the therapist, Therapist responds:
"Therapist: That would be a good definition of commitment: dismissing doubts and alternatives in the name of enjoying your project or relationship more."
I think that’s why my daily "showing up" projects have been more successful than the ones I just pick up when I feel like it: I’ve made a firm commitment to work on them daily.
It’s no longer something I have to work up the desire to do. I don’t even have to consider it. I just sit down and do it. Yeah, there’s still some willpower involved sometimes, but there’s no thinking about whether or not I should do it. I’ve already made that decision.
It’s become one of the many obvious things in my life that I don’t have to think about, like brushing my teeth every day or putting on pants before I go out in public.