This is a card in Dave's Virtual Box of Cards.

Parenting taught me the value of my free time

Page created: 2026-04-16

Back to Productivity or Parenting

So, becoming a parent is a big deal. A really, really, really big deal. The weight of responsibility is enormous. You’re responsible for a whole other human being.

But also the time commitment. It’s really, really hard to express how much time gets devoted to parenting. Especially in the early years.

I’m a person who has always loved having lots of time to devote to Hobbies and Projects.

So when parenting came along, it was a shock to my system. My free time went from hours a day to sometimes minutes. (Infanthood is in a category of its own for being an all-consuming time drain. Even if you have a free moment, you’re sleeping or trying to sleep.)

Two things happened:

  1. I started to value my free time very highly. It became precious.

  2. I was forced to re-evaluate how I wanted to used my rare, precious free time.

Because I was shocked out of my previous time-wasteful habits, I found myself thinking a lot about the bigger picture. It was now going to take me weeks to accomplish a small project that would previously have been a single weekend marathon. I thought harder about the projects available to me. Did I really want to spend weeks on that little side-quest? Or would I rather work on something more meaningful to me?

It worked. I found myself sticking with a single project, putting in 10 minutes here, 20 minutes there. Eventually, I was finishing them!

Thus, the paradox was complete: A massive reduction in personal free time lead to a massive increase in finishing projects.

Having less of a thing meant valuing it more and completely reconsidering not just how I was spending it, but, to some degree, how I wanted to spend my life.

Things have eased up now that the kids are older, but the lessons have stuck.

I keep a project notebook (TODO: article pending, link it here) and write down ideas so I don’t lose them. But I try to only start the ones I really want to do.